im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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