I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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