I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
