I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
