in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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