I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
