jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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