There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
