If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
