What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize