youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant