using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!