I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"