the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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