talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
