yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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