Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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