Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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