His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize