Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
