Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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