then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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