Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
