Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
please don't ironically join a cult
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