I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
