Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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