sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize