I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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