if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
