the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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