Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
how does that bad decision feel?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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