so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
