Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ladies don't puke and tell
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize