after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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