so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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