Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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