I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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