P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
