I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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