so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
