Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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