well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
