If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
