only you would photoshop your dick
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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