and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
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Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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