know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
