The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
