I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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