There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
