A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize