I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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