dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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