Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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