I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
