I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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