When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
