the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
