The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
