she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize