Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
