Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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