I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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