What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
