New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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