Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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