Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
