I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I supernannyed him into submission
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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