its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
