his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
