Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
