Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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