i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
