did you get engaged???
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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