What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
